Recently I was confronted by none other than sleazy hair loss prevention salesman himself, Bob (not really his name because I lost his card and forgot what it was). Bob came up to me to sell me on his product.

Before telling the rest of this story let me explain my hair “situation” first. I am loosing my hair. There I said it. I blame my early hair loss on the newspaper industry, as I had long flowing shoulder length hair until the crazy, intense, and in your face world of news industry hit me. Now on to the good part…

Bob came up to me and the conversation went a little like this…

Bob: Hey man how old are you?

Me: 25

Bob: Man, I didn’t want to say this in front of your buds but I have something that can help your situation.

Me(in my head): STOP… What situation? Buds? Help? Sleazy meter starts to rise.

Me: …Laughter…

Bob: Nah man really! All BS aside come in and we can stop the hair loss you are experiencing.

Me: …Laughter…

Bob: Here is my card. Give me a call or come see me.

Me: …Laughter…

Sleazy meter just went through the roof!

Here is the issue I have with Bob.

1.) Do not approach people with “situations” that are physical in nature. For instance I am not going to go up to an obese person and say stop eating and go exercise. Sleazy meter +1

2.) Why are you wearing a hat Mr. I Fix Hair Loss guy? Seriously take off the hat. Sleazy meter +1

3.) All BS aside? So some of your business is BS – I knew it! Again take off the hat. Sleazy meter +1

4.) While on stage don’t talk about how you partied the night before and had 2 red bulls before the event. FYI malnutrition can cause hair loss, dude. Sleazy meter +1

So here is my plan… Next time I see Bob I am going to be the hair color treatment salesman. Why? Because Bob has grey hair.

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